Jesus is My Homeboy

This week has been an extremely busy one for me.
After the rainstorm raged all day last Sunday I had the opportunity to attend mass at the CCBN in the chapel for the first time. It was absolutely wonderful. The power was out for a little over an hour (a frequent occurrence) and everyone sat quietly in candlelight waiting for it to return. It was a great time for reflection- for once the air was cool, it was quiet and dark, and the little light that was emitted from the candles illuminated the gorgeous mural of Nicaraguans offering gifts to the infant Jesus. The mass began with a song entitled Entrada- You Are The God of the Poor:

Vos sos el Dios de los pobres.
el Dios humano y sencillo,
el Dios que suda en la calle,
el Dios de rostro cutrido.
Por eso es que te hablo yo
así como habla mi pueblo
porque sos el Dios obrero
el Cristo trabajador.

You are the God of the poor.
The human and simple God,
The God who sweats in the street,
The God with the weather-beaten face.
That’s why I can talk to you
The way I talk with my people,
Because you are God the worker
And Christ is a worker, too.

Hearing these beautiful words being sung I thought about my first week and all that I had seen- not places though, just people-- Nicaraguans, and the way in which they live their lives. It’s rather interesting. I live in a city where everyone seems to sweat in the street, whether adult or child Nicaraguans have a way of making nothing into something. Here, every person is a businessman. For instance, my host mother sells chocobananos and helados (chocolate covered frozen bananas and freezepops- amazing!) from our freezer to bring in a few extra cordobas. People sell water, flannel, jewelry, toilet supplies, anything you can think of: all on the street. (I wake up every morning at 6 to a woman outside my window yelling ¡Pan! ¡Pan! Aka Bread! Bread!) All of this selling is most likely directly connected to the dependence on others that has become integrated into daily life in Nicaragua due to countries such as our own, but I’ve honestly never seen people work so hard to make a living.

Additionally, all of this hard work combined with ideas of Liberation Theology have made Jesus like some sort of Pop Culture phenomenon. For instance, every day of the week I step onto multicolored buses with pom-pom like material hanging from the windows. The inside of the buses have sayings painted all over them such as, “God is Everything”, “Jesus is my Co-Pilot” and “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.” I also often see people wearing hats and clothes reminiscent of that “Jesus is my Homeboy” phase we went through in the US. However, as the saying goes- actions speak louder than words- and I’ve been trying to figure out if all this hype about Jesus in a country that is 60% Catholic is legitimate. I’m having trouble making connections between people saying Jesus is “cool” versus trying to truly live their lives following Christ. Possibly, I shouldn’t be allowed to make these judgments and/or generalizations about people living in such great poverty who connect their suffering with that of our savior, especially when I’m far from perfect. Still, my mind is having trouble grasping being part a culture that seems outwardly more sexual than my own (though statistically that may not be so) with vastly different relationship norms also publicly stating how much they love Jesus.

Nonetheless, I do constantly witness great generosity and love from the Nicaraguan people. For example, on the street I often see people who have next to nothing themselves give away the little they have to others in worse situations and give thanks to God for their blessings. That is definitely something I’ve learned to do here in Nicaragua- thank God for almost every moment of my life and all of the incredible blessings that I have been given. Such as: living in a country that is free, having a wonderful family, friends, food, this fellowship. Truly, every experience I have now I try to remember to thank the Lord for allowing me the opportunity to live the life that I’m living. A life in which I have the ability perform acts of community service and the chance to give and to receive invaluable gifts from other human beings. According to the priest during his great homily last Sunday (I was proud of myself for understanding the majority of it), community service is one of the most important things a person can devote their life to because it is such a clear expression of love for other human beings.

Still, even with my love for service, I was thankful to have some time this week to go on a few trips and learn more about Nicaragua. Wednesday, instead of my normal schedule of English class in the morning and Spanish class in the afternoon Greta gave me the day off and let me take Spanish class in the morning so that I would be able to take a trip with some other students from Viva Spanish School. Myself and 3 other students, along with a guide went to La Laguna del Apoyo and the small tropical picturesque towns of Catarina and Sierra del Oriente. As our microbus departed from Huembes Market and we began our drive into the country away from the stuffy air of Managua I immediately knew this trip was going to be great. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there wasn’t one ominous rain cloud in sight. The bus dropped us off in Sierra del Oriente- a town full of artisans and specialty shops. There were shops with many handicrafts- anything from dolls, to dresses, to pottery. The last which we got to see made first hand. After our short pottery lesson we decided it was best during the heat of the day to take a small taxi the rest of the way to the lagoon. Coming upon the lagoon was so surprising after driving through the narrow streets and colorful buildings of Catarina – it was like falling off the edge of the world. The view was breathtaking and like nothing I’ve ever seen before. A huge hole in the earth full of bright blue water surrounded by hills with the city of Granada, Lake Managua, and the looming volcano Mombacho in the background. We were under time restraints so we could only stay for 45 minutes, but I was ready to get out a hammock and stay forever.

After the trip, there was much work to be done to prepare for a group of students from St. Ursula’s Academy in Cincinnati, Ohio that was coming to visit the center for a few days during their trip to Nicaragua. The girls arrived on Thursday night and Greta and Amanda did excellent jobs facilitating activities for them (I helped create a few dinamicos/ ice breakers but really my job was to help wherever and whenever I was needed). I had a lot of fun participating in the activities as well. For instance, Friday night the group of traditional dancers from the center taught myself and the students how to dance the folkloric “Sapo” (frog) with long practice skirts. Then we were able to take a turn and teach the dancers the “Cha Cha Slide”- odd I know but so much fun! Saturday morning we participated in the Children’s Story Time Program for 2 hours- which hopefully I will be able to work with more in the future playing games and doing great activities based upon stories. For example, one of the Batahola students read a passage about the importance of human rights and afterwards we were separated into groups and each group was told to create a different right to express through painting. My group’s right was the “right to Education” and we drew books, and pencils, a school, a globe and other symbols associated with education. It really got the kids talking about why education was important to them, and I thought it was a really great project. Other rights included, food, a home, love, and health care. In the afternoon, the girls were given a tour of the programs the center does like drawing and painting, instrumental practice, sewing class, and cooking class. I’d have to say my favorite program to visit was the one in the beauty salon where all the girls got their hairs styled in different Nicaraguan fashions. I’m not going to lie, it was pretty humorous and I did not partake in said hair adventures.

Sunday was also wonderful- except for the waking up at 5:45 in the morning part. I was allowed to tag along with the girls on their trip to Volcán Mombacho, Nicaragua’s largest volcano at 4409 feet. We spent the morning hiking the trails, and even though it was very foggy the air was nice and the jungle environment and plant life of the volcano was different than anything I’ve ever seen. I got to see howler monkeys in their natural habitat! Later, we took boats around the islands of Lake Nicaragua and stopped at one for lunch. We finished the day with a drive through the city of Granada. Overall, it was awesome but tiring. It was great to hear the girls reflecting on their trip so far and it reminded me of the importance of reflection and how I needed to come home and journal. There are a lot more activities occurring at the center this week (as there are all the time), and I hope to keep you informed in as timely a manner as I can. :)

¿Cómo se dice...?

As I watch a soccer game in the park across the street from my house continue to occur during what is basically a monsoon, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been here for a week (and how the ridiculous amounts of rain do not seem to affect Nicaraguans- Greta and I actually got caught in a huge rainstorm coming back from Spanish School and it was really fun but we were soaked. Still, I’m thankful for this crazy rain that comes every afternoon because it makes the heat slightly less brutal). This week has been so overwhelming, and so exciting, and so new, and so full of bug bites and too much gallopinto- yet so wonderful. Helping Greta every morning at the center continues to be such a blessing, and I even have a 2 hour Conversation Class that I will be running on Fridays on my own. This Friday the first Conversation Class I led was great! I used a few of the games and all of the skills I learned from being a facilitator with English for Action (an ESL program that I worked with in the Olneyville community in Providence during my freshman year). We played Pictionary, Who Am I? (that game where you have the name of a famous person on your forehead and have to ask questions to figure out who you are), and “Speed Dating” with 5 minutes for certain topics of discussion. The class went really well, but it was semi-difficult to cater to everyone’s level of Spanish speaking ability. For example, there was a student who is fluent in English and a student who had never spoken English before. During speed dating she actually tried to avoid me because she was too nervous to truly speak in English but I told her how my Spanish is terrible and how we would help each other. I think it worked out pretty nicely. I loved the Conversation Class because it gave me the chance to get to know members of the community in a deeper way than English class.

Speaking of building community, I’ve been trying my best with my limited Spanish vocabulary to meet people and build relationships. (By the way Nicaraguan Spanish is very different from anything I’ve ever heard and my name here is Holli because people drop -s off the end of words) Friendship bracelets have been a huge hit and I’ve been going to soccer and basketball games (there are a few different leagues) in the park. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to play pick up basketball with David and his friends for an hour and a half during the middle of the day (which was not the best idea for someone who is fair skinned and not used to the heat). It was really fun to play, but I have an unfair height advantage over the average Nicaraguan. Last night was also great, because I got invited to go to a birthday party of one of the music directors at the Center, Myuelvin. A group of us went out dancing and I learned the steps to the Salsa and how to “dance” to Reggaeton. (But there are still so many dances to learn!!!) I’m actually going to be taking Salsa lessons on Thursday nights in Greta’s house, and next month I’m hoping I can be enrolled in the next dance class at the Center. It’s hard for me to keep track of everything that I’m learning- new people, new places, new bus routes, new dances, new music, new movies, and above all new language.

I’m definitely still undergoing a large amount of culture shock too. It’s hard for me to understand why the culture works the way it does in many instances. For example, people with numerous medical problems and children with little straw flowers and crosses constantly approaching you and asking you for money. Or me forgetting where I am because I can watch Friends (in English) or the NBA Finals Game 7 live from a living room couch(I’m still upset with the Celtics), and then walk into the neighborhood and see people living in one room homes. Not to mention, the relationships between men and women in this culture. This week I’ve heard multiple stories about men abusing their wives and wives leaving husbands and people cheating on people and men having multiple families and it’s just hard for me to wrap my head around. Especially situations occurring within my own family. Not to mention, having too much attention from the male members of the community is something I don’t think I will get used to for my entire stay here. I just thank God that I feel very safe within my house, and with my family, and with the Center. I’m not going to lie Managua is not one of the safest places in the world, but having such a great support system definitely makes it easier.

Now that I’ve spent half the day writing this post I’d like to end with a little something I just found in The Brothers Karamazov that Kiernan was nice enough to let me have as a bookmark.

Some Simple Steps to Building Community
- Know your neighbors
- Look up when you are walking
- Greet people
- Play together
- Pray together
- Share what you have
- Fix it even if you didn’t break it
- Honor each other
- Pick up litter
- Help carry something heavy
- Start a tradition
- Ask a question
- Ask for help when you need it
- Sing together
- Share your skills
- Listen before you react to anger
- Mediate a conflict
- Seek to UNDERSTAND

Hospidalidad y Corazónes Abiertas

"¡Bienvenido a Nicaragua! Ahora, esta casa es tuyo y yo soy tu nueva Mama y no te preocupas con nada. Roughly translates to, "Welcome to Nicaragua! This is your new home now and I am your new mother and you don't have to worry about anything." Those were the first words my host mother Doña Rita said to me upon entering her house on Sunday night, and after a day of new experiences and traveling those were just the words I needed to hear. My host family consists of my mother (Doña Rita), my brother (David, 23), my sisters (Gretchen, 30 and Ninosca, 28), and my niece (Jamie, 3). The hospitality and love the Martinez family shows me continues to take me by surprise even on my fourth day here. Doña Rita makes incredible Nicaraguan food, and every dish is made with a lot of love and a lot of gallopinto (translates to- painted rooster. Gallopinto is the national dish of Nicaragua). My sister Ninosca helps me with my homework from ¡Viva! Spanish School (which I attend every day from 1-3pm on the other side of the city). Gretchen is always smiling and is always willing to help when I don't understand something or if I need her to help me teach games to Jamie. And David shares my love of sports and we've spent time both discussing and watching the World Cup and the NBA Finals. David also walks me to the CCBN every morning at 8:30 where I help Greta (who has been a volunteer here at the center for the past 2 years and will be staying for another) teach a 2 hour ESL class.

The CCBN is just as beautiful and full of life and love as when I left during my visit in March. Greta has been absolutely wonderful in orienting me to life in Nicaragua and work at the center. She's introduced me to all the staff and taught me how to take the bus, how to take a taxi, how to act as a white woman in a Machismo culture, how to shop in the market- and my learning has just begun. Today was my second day of helping out with the adult ESL class, and the students are all happy and willing to learn. (I feel like I have a special bond with them because I'm learning how to speak Spanish just as they're learning how to speak English. ) Being in this ESL class reminds of English for Action, the ESL program I worked with during my freshman year, and I'm very grateful that I had the opportunity to work with EFA because now I'm going to be helping Greta (and another volunteer Amanda who is currently back in the states) create lesson plans.

It is evident how important the CCBN is to the members of the Batahola Norte community. It is an oasis in the midst of great poverty ( I notice new things on the bus every day- such as the large gap between the rich and the poor in Nicaragua. For instance, a Mercedes Benz dealership right next to a village of tin shacks. Oh, by the way, my house is very nice for Nicaraguan standards- we have a indoor plumbing, an indoor shower, a kitchen, a living room with a tv and a computer, and I have my own room on the porch to myself.). The CCBN truly gives individuals the opportunity to escape for a while from the hard life and dusty streets of Managua. I can see stark differences between those who have been given the opportunity to come here, and people who have not been so lucky. I've watched dance lessons, cake baking, band practice, and mural painting; all the talents of this amazing community- talents which are cultivated and cared for by the hardworking staff like the well tended gardens here. Talents which people thank God for and offer up to Him. The CCBN is a sight to behold. It just makes me wish there could be more CCBNs in Nicaragua. Actually it makes me wish there were CCBNs in communities around the world. Everyone here knows each other, everyone here sees that their lives have potential and purpose.

Welcome to Miami... Bienvenido a Miami!

Sitting in the Miami International Airport it seems surreal that I'm one flight away from Nicaragua. Leaving my family at Logan this morning was very hard for me. I've never done anything completely by myself, and I was so nervous in the airport that my parents, Nealyn, and Kiernan were trying to do everything for me. However, I eventually got my bearings, took up my luggage, said multiple goodbyes to my family, and once past security I was on my way.

On the plane I had the pleasure of sitting next to a PC Alum (It's such a small world!), and a woman named Sarah who is a high school Spanish teacher from East Providence traveling with her class on a trip to Lima, Peru. We had a very fruitful discussion about Nicaragua, because both women happen to have traveled there before. (Evidently, I make friends fast and no longer felt lonely.)

After a smooth transition to talking about all of the terrible issues in the world, Sarah gave me some great advice. She told me, "Don't get depressed and overwhelmed while you are trying to make a difference in the world because it's impossible to change the whole world. Focus on one individual at a time, one piece of the puzzle at a time. Don't worry- you'll be great!" Sarah's positive attitude brought me hope and got me very excited about my experience. Her wisdom reminded me of the words of Mother Teresa that helped catapult me into a life revolving around service in the first place. (Funny, another Sarah I know just emailed me about this. By the way, thanks for all of the support everyone!) So here are some Mother Teresa quotes that I was introduced to in PSP 101 that really inspire me- because who wouldn't Google Mother Teresa quotes while waiting for a flight?

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."

"The fruit of prayer is a deepening of faith
And the fruit of faith is love.
And the fruit of love is service..."

" Love has to be put into action and that action is service."

"...it is not how much we do but how much love we put into the doing- a lifelong sharing of love with others."

"Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."


"At the end of life we will not be judged by
how many diplomas we have received
how much money we have made
how many great things we have done.

We will be judged by
'I was hungry and you gave me to eat
I was naked and you clothed me
I was homeless and you took me in...'"

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it..."

Nica here I come!

This Little Light of Mine...

Sitting in the living room with my sisters it seems impossible that in five days I will be back in Nicaragua. I was blessed enough to have the opportunity to travel to the country once before with my classmates from the Community Engagement in Latin America course, and now I feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity to travel to Nicaragua again through a Smith Fellowship that I was awarded through the Center for Catholic and Dominican Studies at PC with four of my peers. For two months I will be working in the capital city of Managua at the Centro Cultural de Batahola Norte (CCBN) and living with a family in the neighborhood. Am I prepared? I’m not quite sure. If we’re talking material/packed luggage wise I am by no means close to being prepared. I’ve been spending these first weeks of summer with my friends and family as much as possible; I was able to go white water rafting in Maine, have a nice and relaxing Memorial Day Weekend, and be here for my younger sister Kiernan’s prom and graduation.

All of this family time has been great! However, yesterday, dwelling upon my delay in packing I was starting to feel a little anxious about not being quite mentally prepared to go back to Nicaragua either. The week I spent there in March was so different than anything I’d ever experienced. I was learning new things at a rapid and overwhelming pace, but I had the constant presence and support of my wonderful classmates and opportunities to reflect upon experiences with them. I had a sudden realization that this time I will be going down to Nicaragua alone. I began to stress about traveling, meeting a lot of new people every day, living with a family that does not speak English, eating foods that my body is not used to eating, and getting homesick. I even began to doubt my abilities and qualifications for receiving a Smith Fellowship. I was wondering how I could do anything meaningful at the CCBN by myself. I am only one person, one nineteen-year-old girl who has not spent too much time outside of sheltered walls and in the real world.

Through some sort of divine inspiration, all of this ridiculous over analysis about my summer caused me to reach for the Bible and search for the story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples that was a primary focus during Pastoral Council training. I wanted to re-read John 13 and remind myself of the importance of being a humble servant of Christ. However, as someone who admittedly does not look at the Bible very often I was unaware that the reading was in John and as I was searching for the passage I came upon Matthew 5:14-16. I was both comforted and reassured by these words: “You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lamp stand, and it gives light to all the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” I realized I’m not in this trip alone. I’m not in life alone. God is with me and has granted me this incredible opportunity to contribute the best of myself to others. While I’m in Managua (and for the rest of my life), I should use the skills that I know I possess and share them with others. I don’t even know what the Cultural Center needs and I won’t fully know that until I am down there, but I should not be concerned about skills I lack or expect others to want me to have skills that I don’t posses. (Still, if that circumstance happens to arise I can always learn.)

I am now confident that if I let my light shine and offer my best to God and those I will be working with I will have nothing to worry about. Needless to say, through this reading my fears were appeased, I found a title for my blog, and I decided the Bible should be a main component of my summer reading.

My flight leaves from Logan on Sunday morning! Hopefully, I will be able to write for this blog in a semi-frequent manner with updates about my life in Nicaragua. Your prayers and support during my time abroad would be greatly appreciated. :)